As 2017 drew to a close, I knew that there were some things I had to change about my business. I was burnt out. I had planned new content on my blog twice a week, nearly all year long. I had a new pattern release or recipe almost every single week, along with my weekly Monday Messages. It would have been a lot for anyone, but for a mom with four children; two of which are still home, it was way too much.
I was expecting too much of myself, and at what cost? My children saw a lot of the back of my head as I worked on patterns and blogs on the computer. Admittedly, not all of my patterns were the quality I would have liked, and my food photography for my recipes really needed more work.
When I began planning for 2018, I found a happy planner by me & my BIG ideas which said, “grace upon Grace,” on the cover, and had so many perfect Bible verses for me on this journey, found throughout the pages. I decided then and there that my word for the new year would be GRACE.
Little did I know just how much of it I would need.
Three weeks into January, I had fallen so far behind, that I hadn’t produced any new patterns or recipes since well before Christmas, and I didn’t have any ready to go any time soon. My husband was laid up in bed for weeks with his back injury. Scenes of the stomach bug in this house resembled that of an exorcism, and I was struggling with my emotions, missing my crochet, and stressing about actual, real, upcoming deadlines.
Many things in this house were ruined during the course of this time. We literally had to order a new couch, and we may need a new dryer, and to add insult to injury, the final vomiting episode came down right on my “grace upon Grace,” perfect-for-me, happy planner.
I know. Here we are on week three of you guys hearing about how lousy this month has been for my family, but I do hope you get my intended purpose for these messages. Because it isn’t about me.
I am weak. I am a human being, with struggles, and anger, and sin. I share my stories with you so that you may know just how heavily I rely on Him…even when I don’t, even when I turn my face from Him in anger, even when I cry out in doubt and fear, even when I forget to trust Him….He is there.
Do you remember being a teenager and being so angry with your parents you never wanted to speak to them again? Do you remember slamming doors in their faces? Maybe you even told them you hated them, or wrote that thought in your journal. Maybe they did something, “for your own good,” that you couldn’t fully understand at that time in your life.
But when you needed them, they were there. You still slept in their house, ate the food they provided, and wore the clothes they bought.
I had been angry with God over my husband’s pain and inability to work, over the kids’ sickness, over the vet bills and expensive things needing replacing, over the pain I’ve been seeing in the world, but I still ate of His food, clothed in His provisions. Even in my anger, He sent us blessings in the form of loving family, church family, and friends.
His GRACE is sufficient.
I bought myself a new planner, one which will be kept carefully away from any future vomiting children, and I’ve wrapped myself in His grace.
Whatever it is that you’re striving for, whatever it may be that you feel has been keeping you down, wrap yourself in His grace. It is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in our weakness.