The Quarrelsome Fool

The Quarrelsome Fool: The Toddler Within us All

 

I am currently at my wit’s end with a 2-year old who wants to fight me over everything. If it wasn’t her idea in the first place, she doesn’t want to do it. 

“Charlotte, why are you fussing?”
“Because I’m fussing!”
“Do you want your water?”
“NOOOOOOOOOO! I don’t want my water,” as she pushes it away from her.
I set the water back down on the table, only to hear, “Water!!! I want water!”

This happens nearly every day; not always with water, maybe a toy, or snack, or even a hug. But nearly every day, I find myself in a shouting match with a 2-year old who really has no idea what she wants.

I have been learning though. I’ve been learning to disengage. It seems that if I allow my own argumentative nature to unleash back at her, it only escalates the situation.

And then it dawned on me, just how effective this could be in the rest of my life. We all know adults like this too, right? It might be a social media friend who only ever talks to you to tell you how you’re wrong. Or maybe it’s someone that can just never ever admit when they’ve been wrong, so the more you engage, the louder they get.

Maybe, at some season of your life, you too have been one of these people. I know I have. The truth is, we all have a little bit of toddler in us. Our tantrums  may not look the same, but that doesn’t change what they are, at their very core. We like to think we’re always right. We like for things to go our way. And when we’re not, or things don’t, we toddler.

Yes, “toddler,” is a frequently used verb in this house.
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Our ability to communicate effectively becomes ruled by emotions which we cannot control, and we are toddlers, just like that. We argue about things that don’t matter. We end up saying or doing hurtful things.

Disengage. This doesn’t mean that you turn a bitter cheek and refuse to speak with them, but rather, be the calm in their storm. If you can’t think of anything productive or helpful to say, offer a prayer, but walk away from that need to be right, or that need to be heard. Those needs will just as quickly turn you into the quarrelsome fool.