I have subtly hinted to you, on more than one occasion, about my struggles with the lackluster Christian life. I am a busy mom of four, trying to maintain a household and run a business. Life is full of distractions, and I often let them take over. I spend a lot more time than I care to admit, questioning God and doubting His goodness. I struggle with so many of the same things everyone else does; money, relationships, gossip, greed, selfishness, impatience, and anger. Often, in spirals of constant discouragement and frustration, unable to meet my goals, I find myself playing the role of victim rather than victor.
And this is not who God has called me to be; not who He has called any of us to be! The love and blood of Christ alone, declares us victorious. When we are feeling defeated, let down, frustrated, or deficient in any area of our lives, the world will tell us we just need to pull ourselves up by the boot straps, so to speak, and work harder, when really we should be falling to our knees seeking Him. Our contentment comes from the Lord. Our desire for Him is great. Our need for His presence expands a vastness which we cannot fill of our own volition.
He will make your righteousness reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways when they carry out their wicked schemes.
~Psalm 37:5-7
Commune with Him. Make time for Him. Seek Him first and foremost in all that you do, and He will have answers. But when we try to press on ahead of our own free will, often destruction is imminent. Do not compare your failures to the successes of others. Commit your way to the Lord. His way; not your way or anyone else’s. Might He sometimes call you to work harder in certain areas of your life, to reach your goals? Perhaps. But don’t just assume that that is all it takes. Include Him in your plans. Infuse every aspect of your goals with His presence. Be open to how He might guide you, and how your goals might shift and change to meet His will.
This is something I continue to learn every day as my business grows, often at a slower rate than I would like; as our savings account grows at a much slower rate than I would like; as my husband’s goals of pursuing higher education become put off yet another year. Cars break down, jobs become stressful, health deteriorates, people in our lives become difficult. WE become difficult. This is life.
But our contentment is found in Him, and Him alone. We cannot force things to happen for us, nor can we force ourselves to be happy in our current station in life. What we can do, is make sure that in each and every moment of our journey, we are not alone. God doesn’t ever leave us, but we often ignore Him. Don’t ignore Him.
Pursue Him. Let Him have your heart. Let Him be your goal, and watch how He leads you.